When a prospect says yes, it rarely happens because of your product's features or your slide deck's design. It happens because they trust you — and trust, as decades of neuroscience research confirms, is built not through polish, but through vulnerability.
Why We Root for the Underdog
I don't know about you, but when given a choice to root for the underdog or the five-time champion, I'm pulling for the underdog. A recent survey found that 88.1% of people will root for the underdog when given the choice. This happens in sports, with our favorite movies, novels, television characters, and in politics as well. There's a part of us that loves to see an individual, group, or team beat the odds.
There are a few theories that attempt to explain this phenomenon, but one stands out for what it reveals about human connection. Dr. Asim Shah, professor and executive vice chair in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor, found that one of the prevailing reasons we root for the underdog is because most of us can relate to how difficult it is to win all the time. Many of us see ourselves as an underdog, and so we project our desire to win onto the team or individual going against the odds: "if they can win, then there's hope for us too."
We know what it feels like to be in the more vulnerable position. And when we see someone else in that spot, we connect with them. That instinct doesn't disappear when we walk into a sales conversation.
The Connection Between Vulnerability and Trust
So why does any of this matter when it comes to communication and relationship building in sales? Because the same dynamic that drives us toward the underdog also drives us toward the people we trust most.
Brené Brown's decades of research on vulnerability offer a clear answer: "Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection." This is one of the primary reasons most of us don't enjoy being around know-it-alls. The person who presents themselves as having every answer, who never admits uncertainty, who leads with credentials rather than candor — that person doesn't feel safe to open up to. And if a buyer doesn't feel safe opening up, you'll never understand what's actually driving their decisions.
We connect more authentically with those who are a bit more vulnerable: those who admit what they don't know, acknowledge their shortcomings, and are courageous enough to share who they are as a person — not just what they do as a professional. Professional credibility can win you work. But when it comes to personal connection, which is essential for relationship building, bringing just the right amount of vulnerability wins hearts.
What the Neuroscience Actually Tells Us
The brain is wired to detect threat before it registers opportunity. When a prospect meets a salesperson who projects nothing but certainty, expertise, and polish, the subconscious registers something that feels off — because no one is that perfect. The brain's threat-detection system kicks in, and walls go up.
Contrast that with a salesperson who shares something genuine: a moment where they didn't have the answer, a lesson they learned from a failed engagement, a brief glimpse into who they are outside the role. The brain reads that as safe. The amygdala stands down. And the prospect's frontal cortex — the part responsible for higher-order decision-making — becomes available for an actual conversation.
This is not a soft skill. It's a neurological sequence. Vulnerability is one of the fastest mechanisms for establishing psychological safety in a new relationship, and psychological safety is the prerequisite for trust — which is the prerequisite for yes.
Embrace the Discomfort
Forming new relationships, especially when you're the one initiating, can be anxiety-provoking. Why? Because there's a real chance your attempts will be rejected outright. Reaching out, showing up authentically, and risking a flat "no" is uncomfortable by design — your nervous system is registering social risk the same way it registers physical risk.
As David Goggins puts it: you have to embrace the suck. It's the only way you get better at this. The sellers who build the deepest pipelines are not the ones who have eliminated rejection — they're the ones who have recalibrated their relationship with it. They've learned to treat discomfort as feedback, not failure. Each awkward first conversation is practice for a better second one.
The practical takeaway: don't wait until you feel ready to be vulnerable with a prospect. Start small. Acknowledge when you're learning something new about their industry. Admit when a question they've asked is one you'll need to think on. Let the conversation be a two-way street rather than a performance.
Bring In Some Humility
Accept the fact that regardless of how smart you are and how much experience you have, you have nothing without the person in front of you. The relationship is the currency. The prospect's willingness to open up about their real situation, their real constraints, their real fears — that is the data you need to sell effectively, and you won't get it if you're too busy proving how much you know.
Give credit to those around you who have contributed to your success. Acknowledge the people and experiences that helped you get where you are today. In business and in life, relationships are everything. We need others as much as they need us if we want to succeed.
Humility in a sales conversation isn't weakness. It's an invitation. When you say "I don't know, but I'll find out," you're signaling that accuracy matters more to you than appearance. That's a rare quality. Buyers notice it. And they remember it.
Be Honest
Humans are exquisite lie-detector machines. If you think you're being slick or hiding something, you're not. Buyers know when you don't know, so be upfront when you don't have the answer they need at the moment. Speak the truth and you'll gain their trust faster than any pitch deck can.
This doesn't mean oversharing your company's limitations or volunteering objections before they arise. It means that when a prospect asks a direct question, you give a direct answer — even when the honest answer is "that's not our strongest area" or "we've seen that challenge come up before, and here's how we've handled it." That kind of candor is disarming in the best possible way. It makes buyers feel like they're getting the real story, which in most sales conversations, they're not.
Honesty also means staying present. Don't deflect or redirect when a prospect raises a concern. Sit with it. Acknowledge it. Then address it. The willingness to remain in an uncomfortable moment — rather than pivot away from it — is one of the clearest signals of trustworthiness a seller can send.
The Personal Connection Story
Getting vulnerable can be a challenge, so at Braintrust we've designed a structured way to make it more manageable. It's called the Personal Connection Story, and it's one of the most impactful tools inside the NeuroSelling methodology.
The concept is simple: before you lead with your value proposition or your company's capabilities, you share a brief, genuine story about what makes you tick — something real about who you are outside of your professional role. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It could be a formative experience, a value you hold, a challenge you've worked through. What matters is that it's true, and that it's yours.
The effect is remarkable. When prospects see you step into a place of authentic self-disclosure, most of the time they will share something back with you that you never would have learned otherwise. That moment of reciprocal openness changes the dynamic of the entire conversation. You're no longer a vendor trying to make a sale. You're two people exploring whether there's a fit worth pursuing together.
We have our "How to Build Your Personal Connection Story" guide available for anyone who wants to build their own. It's a practical, structured tool for stepping into vulnerability in a way that feels intentional rather than accidental.
The Next Step in Your Customer Conversation
When you see how impactful one moment of authentic connection can be in a Customer Conversation, it opens the door to a bigger question: what would it look like to build that kind of trust systematically, across every stage of the sales cycle?
That's exactly what NeuroSelling is designed to do. It's not a collection of tactics. It's a complete framework for using the neuroscience of decision-making to guide every conversation, from the first call to the final close, in a way that builds real trust rather than manufactured rapport.
The sellers and teams who adopt it don't just get better at closing. They get better at listening, at asking the right questions, at understanding what's actually driving a buyer's hesitation. They stop relying on polish to carry conversations and start relying on connection. That shift, more than any technique, is what gets prospects to say yes.
If this resonates with how you think about selling, let's talk about what NeuroSelling looks like for your team.
