Coach the Whole Human: Why Personal Values Should Guide Performance Conversations
We spend so much time in performance conversations talking about goals, KPIs, quotas, and metrics. And those things matter—but they’re only part of the equation. If we want to inspire sustainable performance, we need to look beyond the numbers. We need to start coaching the whole human.
Underneath every professional goal is a personal why, a set of values that drives behavior, commitment, and ultimately, success. When we coach with those values in mind, we stop just managing outcomes and start unlocking people. Let’s break down why personal values should guide performance conversations, and how coaching through that lens leads to better connection, engagement, and growth.
Humans Are Wired for Meaning, Not Just Metrics
The brain doesn’t just seek achievement. It seeks purpose. Research shows that when our work aligns with our internal values, we experience greater motivation, resilience, and satisfaction.
Here’s the science: when we act in alignment with our personal values, the brain releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior and making us want to do it again. It’s like the brain’s way of saying, “Yes, this matters.”
But when there’s a disconnect between what we’re doing and what we care about, motivation drops. Burnout increases. And performance conversations become mechanical rather than meaningful.
Coaching Through Metrics Alone Leaves People Feeling Misunderstood
Think about the last time someone coached you solely on your performance numbers. Did you walk away energized and inspired, or just corrected?
Now think about a time someone asked, “What really drives you? What matters most to you outside of this role?” Chances are, that conversation left a mark. That’s because coaching through values taps into identity, not just behavior. Metrics are the what. Values are the why. People need both.
Why Values Matter in Coaching Conversations
Here’s what happens when we bring values into the conversation:
- Deeper Buy-In: When goals are tied to personal values, people feel a sense of ownership. They’re not just executing—they’re investing.
- Increased Self-Awareness: Reflecting on values helps individuals understand the why behind their habits, both good and bad.
- More Authentic Relationships: Coaching becomes a partnership, not a performance review. It’s rooted in trust, empathy, and mutual growth.
- Greater Resilience: When the going gets tough, values serve as an internal compass. They help people push through with purpose, not just pressure.
How to Coach the Whole Human (Without Getting Too Personal)
You may think, Dan, some leaders hesitate to bring values into coaching because they fear crossing a line. Coaching the whole human doesn’t mean digging into someone’s private life, it means honoring what matters to them and helping them align it with how they show up at work.
Here’s how to start:
1. Ask Values-Based Questions
Performance conversations often start with, “What are your goals for this quarter?” Try adding:
- “What’s something you care deeply about that you want your work to support?”
- “When do you feel most energized in your role?”
- “What kind of impact do you want to have on your team or clients?”
These questions open the door to values, and signal that you care about more than just results.
2. Listen for the Underlying Drivers
Pay attention to the language people use when they describe their highs and lows. Are they driven by growth? Security? Recognition? Creativity? Impact?
These are clues to their values—and they can help you tailor your coaching approach to what truly motivates them.
3. Connect Goals to Identity
Once you understand someone’s values, use them to frame goals and feedback.
Instead of: “You need to be more proactive with clients.”
Try: “You’ve said building trust with your clients really matters to you. Proactive outreach is a powerful way to do that.”
This reframes the feedback as a value-aligned action, not just a correction.
4. Revisit and Reaffirm
Values can evolve over time. Make space to revisit them in coaching check-ins—not as a one-time exercise, but as an ongoing dialogue.
Ask: “Is that value still driving you today? Has anything shifted?”
This keeps your coaching relevant, personal, and powerful.
The Results Speak for Themselves
Teams coached through a values-based lens show increased engagement, stronger emotional connection to their work, and better performance outcomes. Why? Because when people feel understood as whole humans, they’re more likely to bring their whole selves to the job.
In a coaching culture that values people over processes, performance becomes a byproduct—not a battle.
Coach the Human First, Then the Role
When we focus solely on behavior, we might get compliance.
When we connect to values, we unlock commitment.
The best leaders don’t just coach toward performance, they coach toward purpose. They help their team members align what they do with who they are.
So the next time you sit down for a coaching conversation, ask yourself:
“Do I know what drives this person—not just professionally, but personally?”
“Have I created space for that to matter in this conversation?”
If you want your people to show up with passion and purpose, you’ve got to coach the whole human. The results will astound you. Let’s talk more about NeuroCoaching® at braintrustgrowth.com/neurocoaching.
